Now, if you noticed that a year ago I posted something regarding how many diets and and gimmicks I've tried over my life time, you'd realize that none of them have worked. I'm still writing. And actually, I took a hiatus from dieting so to speak for a while. Stress will do that to you. So now I find myself about 50lbs over weight, reaching weights I only saw when I was pregnant. One would think that there would be many "last straws" over the last year as I've seen my weight slowly creep up. But no, losing weight is like trying to quit smoking. We know that quitting (in this case food or lazy behavior) will benefit us in the end, but for now we're fine. No real health concerns yet etc etc.... One would also think that the degredation of my self-esteem to the point where it is almost non-exsistent would have been enough to jump start my motivation...but no. Here I am. The last straw came today, well really yesterday. I hurt my foot. But I didn't stub it, sprain it or break it. I don't know what I did, it just started hurting, a lot. I've had this happen once before when I was really very pregant- the tendons in my foot get stretched out because I"m too heavy. This time it happened because I'm too heavy- no baby excuse this time. I'm lucky that it was just my foot. It could have been my pancreas or my heart. It was just my foot. But that's enough.
I really can't find any sympathizers out there- people don't say I look fat, at least to my face. When I mentioned that its really bugging me, people looked stunned that I think its a problem. Numbers don't lie. I'm 5'9" and 225lbs. According to BMI charts I should be around 140-169. I'm having a hard time buying clothes, because when I go into the woman's sizes, they are assuming that all fat people are SHORT! Things are all wide and short. The sleeves are short, the torso's are short and the legs are short.
I'm young, I can do this. I revisited my Weight Watchers material- though I'll never go back to meetings. They were so contrite, and I felt REALLY silly being there, and then I felt really guilty if I didn't lose weight, and didn't show up the next week. Sigh, but I still have the info they gave me. You know its bad when your weight is near a starting weight on the Biggest Loser. They may be shorter than I am, but still...
Tomorrow is day 1. Screw the foot, I'm going to need to do some exercising.
This is real life, I'm a real person- I don't have money to waste NOT going to a gym. I can't afford personal trainers. And diets don't work. I need to eat practically, making good choices about food. I need to find time to exercise between being a mom and working full time. I'll keep you posted on how its going!
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Hey! I didn't know you had this blog until I saw that you updated something on Facebook. I'm sorry to hear about your foot! You should totally not feel bad about not having time to exercise and stuff... I can't imagine having time to breathe if I had a job AND a kid. Most days I can hardly handle my job. ;) That said, I know you can do it! I don't know a whole lot about exercising beyond running and weight lifting, but if you need any ideas for healthy food let me know! Have you checked out Spark People? (www.sparkpeople.com) It lets you calorie count, find healthy food, etc. I actually used it to try to see if I was eating enough when I was training for my 1/2 marathon (I wasn't.) There are also some really good message boards for food, health and fitness, etc. through The Nest (www.thenest.com) I post on the "What's Cooking?" board all the time. Anyway, I'm rambling. Good luck with everything and keep me updated! We should try to get together soon! :)
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